Hello my people, as I was taking a leisurely stroll through our universe I discovered a stack of something called ‘magazines’. These ‘magazines’ were a historical discovery for our population because they contained descriptions and images of another planet’s life. I have learnt that there are two kinds of ‘humans’ as they are referred to. Females and males. I shall begin with the females.
Most of the images in the ‘magazines’ show a lot of females with two big globes down the front of their chest. They are referred to as ‘boobs’, and to quote one of these books directly, “Nicki Minaj has recently gotten more implants,” which was accompanied by an image of her ‘boobs’. The females all have some sort of string on their heads which is styled to form fascinating patterns. A lot of the string is a blonde colour, and looks very smooth and silky. All females have differently coloured lips and each of them have some sort of colour on their eyelids. And each of them has something big sticking out of their lower back, some sort of pillow. The clothes they wear are all very fancy and show quite a bit of skin. They also wear very high things on their feet called ‘high heels’.
The males are all quite beefy. They have weird formations on their stomachs which they call ‘abs’. They do not wear any shirts for some reason, and have perfectly styled string on their head. They have weird lumps in their arms which apparently is attractive.
Something that is very recurrent in these magazines is the happiness and the smiles they have. Everyone looks fit and seems to be living a very happy life. The only downside is that there is never someone to take a picture of you, so everyone just takes photos of themselves. But they live in fantastic homes and have fantastic friends and families. They go to parties every night and have amazing social lives. I wish everyone on our planet could look like everyone on theirs. Perfect skin, perfect clothes, perfect lives.
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